| The water in the pool felt luxuriant as she slipped into its three foot depth. She felt like an alligator as she pulled herself along on the bottom of the pool with her hands with the top of her face sticking out of the water so she could breathe. Circling, she made a gentle whirlpool of the cool, clear water. When she tired of that, she rolled over on her back and let the circling water float her along. She was a natural floater and with no effort at all the woman-made whorl lazily drifted her from one side to the other.
The blue of the sky was dotted with the ever-on-the-wing chimney swifts. Green maples framed the blue as she looked up while twirling around. A sensation of joy and uncertainty swept through her thinking of the deed she had done today. She had accepted a job. A temporary job, although not so temporary. Temporary, fulltime, indefinite is what it was. She hadn't worked in an office for seven years hence the uncertainty. The joy came from finally acting upon the impulse. No, not really an impulse. It had been something she had been thinking of for, well, several years now. So, it couldn't be called an impulse. You could more precisely call it having found the gearshift and having shifted out of neutral. No more spinning her wheels and getting nowhere. She had acted. The birds soared overhead, the green of the trees circled around, the sun glowed a whitish yellow. "It is good to be alive today," she heard herself whisper. The effect of the whisper underwater was fascinating. She was in another world where her speaking could only be heard by herself. It didn't need to be spoken really. More like truly thought. "It is good to be alive today," she repeated savoring the hollowness of hearing her voice under the water. "It is good to be alive today." Quite quickly, she sat up. "Ohmigod," she exclaimed. Heard in regular tone, it hit her. What had she done? She had gotten a job is what. She knew what she had taken on. No one had forced her to take a job. When she would say she ought to find a job, Bill would ask her, "Why?" So this was of her own choosing. She felt as truly ready to start working as she ever could be. It wouldn't be easy. She would be very tired and faced with changes. Changes always unsettled her. It would be a challenge to convince her roaming and analyzing mind that it was going to be okay, that it was a change for the better, and that if she just stuck it out she would get used to the change. Maybe. But she had done it before over a decade ago and conquered it. She could do it now, she reassured herself. Right? "OHMIGOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE?" She exhaled slowly and plopped back down in the water to float some more, perhaps not to think. (To be continued...) |